greatexpectations | zari tomaz

OR

The common factor in all Zaris is the ability to see the big picture. It helps everyone on the team has a big mouth even if they weren't the easiest reads ever. It doesn't take her long to put together how the Behrad 2.0 situation might have struck a nerve with her other self. Nate sharing about the 'his' Zari stuff just further confirmed it. By the time she gently coaxes Behrad into reliving his time as a complete jerk she has what she needs. A few weeks turns into a week.

It's not that Zari isn't having a good time. She loves spending time with Nate outside the totem. This time with Behrad is healing in ways she can't even begin to unpack. It's good to see Sara and Ava's progression as a couple for herself. The new girls are fun even if Zari and Astra will likely never get along. Gary sure is Gary. Mick....... okay maybe she's not mourning getting away from his pregnant self. That's a nightmare even if his daughter is cool. She even manages to crash a phone call between Behrad and their parents just to give a quick Hi, I love you since she can't do voices for crap.

While her other self has given her a gift she can never truly repay, she also knows guilt when she sees it. They are the same person. Zari has lived with guilt for a very long time. She suspects eternally. That's a story for pretty much never. She never wants to give up the way this Zari looks at her by sharing that secret. She just wants to help Pretty Zari let hers go because it's dumb.

"Hey, sis. I'm going to need you to tap in early. It's getting pretty intense out there." It's not really a lie. She's pretty sure she heard actual screaming outside Nate's room before they said goodbye. It's also not the truth either. They're sneaky that way.

While Zari was feeling a little unwanted by some of the other members of the team, the real goal of staying in the totem was to take advantage of all the things that she's generally not allowed to eat if she wants to keep her svelte figure. Doughnuts, pizza, pie, all of Nasreen's delicious food she usually makes for Eid - she's having the time of her life, and no one can judge her.

She honestly expected the other Zari to be gone a lot longer, but she heard the fight with Nate. A complicated swirl of feelings swells from her gut as she tries to figure out what to do here.

"Really? Already?" Zari pouts. "Has the honeymoon phase ended already?"

And then Fancy Zari looks perfectly fine. Is she projecting or being an overprotective sister/twin/alter?? Not all Zaris have to be in a state of lowkey misery from living in the worst timeline, she supposes.

Zari lets out a simple huh before stiffening at being effectively called out. "What? No." Sometimes she really hates they're kind of the same person. There's no hiding from Z. She finds a spot on the couch to start stealing food from herself. "Okay so maybe things are a little complicated out in the real world." She admits while stress eating like a pro.

She wouldn't have thought that things would be that complicated on the Wave Rider, given that it's what Zari used to do before, and the crew seems to prefer her, in some instances. It's a complicated knot of feelings that she's still trying to unwind.

She misses her brother. She misses John. But she doesn't miss the way it feels like she's the second choice now. It's reminiscent of how she's felt her entire life since Behrad was born and took his place as the only son.

She kind of hates it.

But, if they're going to stress eat together, she might as well get the dish. "Do tell."

"Okay so full disclosure: Nate and I weren't exactly dating for long before I found the loophole to save Behrad, our parents, and accidentally make you. In fact, it was more like a date, hatching a dragon egg, and fooling around. No complaints about that last part." She notes with a smirk. They both share a healthy sexual appetite it seems once their lives aren't trauma city.

"We've been friends for a while before that so makes everything... bigger. Add on the fact we're constantly being pulled apart..." She is talking in circles. Annoyingly, Zari knows it. She sucks at feelings. Unlike her cool and fancy self, she isn't the most eloquent speaker outside sometimes having a few good insights from growing up in the worst timeline. It's hard to put what she feels into words.

"I don't think he needs me." She blurts out. "I'm starting to wonder what we're fighting to hang onto. Great I'm there to see him and apparently ruin John's life by keeping you away from him." Which stings in a different way. John used to be a friend of hers so it sucks he feels this way towards her now. On top of that, she doesn't see that same need in Nate's eyes. It doesn't even occur to her that maybe Nate is better at hiding his big feelings than John is.

"There's no future for us. I can never give Dot her grandbabies with our awesome childbearing hips because I technically don't exist. I can't..." Her voice hitches. "Baba and Maman don't even know me so what I am doing? I don't know anymore." She takes breath here to look at her other self with glassy eyes and half a donut quickly being stuffed in her mouth. This is why she's not the fancy Zari. She is getting crumbs all over herself as they speak.

"First of all, you may not see it but I have had to deal with him being a mopey, pouty mess for months."

Which was uncomfortable at first, but the two of them worked through it. She knows how much he cares for the other her, and how much he does need her. So misconception number one struck down. She's willing to bet that the only reason he wasn't with her is because, well, she was there.

It's not obvious that you need something when you have it.

The second point is a bigger concern, because it's not a misconception she can correct. As much as she wishes it were true, that the other Zari could have that life, they both know what the cost would be of the two of them trying to live in the world side by side.

The cost is Behrad, and it's not a cost either of them are willing to pay.

"Baba and Maman aren't exactly our biggest fan." She sighs as she runs a hand through her hair. "I mean, they love us, sure, but ... they don't necessarily approve of our life choices." Though maybe they would have liked non-fancy Zari's tech focus. STEM daughters are in.

It actually raises her hopes to hear that he was a mess. Maybe... okay that probably makes her a bad person, Zari thinks. She wants desperately to be valued by Nate. She knows the rest is an impossible wish. Zari wouldn't take back her sacrifice for anything. She knows she is fortunate to have this much: a relationship with Behrad and her other self; getting to see her friends again. She could have slipped away into the ether the way her Behrad seems to have. She would have accepted that fate to atone for her perceived failures.

What she can't abide by is hearing anyone much less this version of her parents not value her other self. She stops eating long enough to do a double-take. That has to be the most insane thing she's ever heard. She found out in a happier life she'd be an influencer that John Constantine is totally fixated on.

"Hang on... they get pretty-princess-slash-genius Zari and they're still not happy?" She snorts at how ridiculous that is. Not that her parents approved of how Behrad and Zari fought back against their oppressors, but she would never say her parents weren't their biggest fans or even think it. Zari knows she gave Maman especially a hard time about preserving their faith and culture and still wouldn't go there. It's disappointing as it is expected. People take their loved ones for granted when they're not at risk of getting shot dead or stolen away to be tortured on daily basis.

She reaches out to pat her other self's arm. "Well I'm happy. I think it's cool the way you make all that stuff and help people feel good about themselves." She may not get Z's whole deal, but she admires it.

Her chin lifts at that, clearly pleased that other Zari appreciates her, even if her parents don't. She's not even sure if it's that they take her for granted so much as seeing what she does as frivolous. Vapid. Numerous other words that coincide with how fake her world used to be.

"Thank you."

Then she shrugs as she relaxes, because if they're appreciating each other, than she's got some pieces of her own to share.

"Though I'm sure your life is much less exhausting. You don't have to think about how every little thing you do will be perceived. When you have hundreds of thousands of eyes on you all the time ... I think sometimes you forget how to be yourself. Your life becomes your image and I think Maman and Baba never really liked the person that I was when I was 'working.'" A beat. "Then again, B never really did either."

Even the sound of Fancy Zari's life makes her want to break out in hives. She doesn't bother hiding her disgust the thought of thousands gawking at her. "It's less exhausting these days." She admits dryly. No one wants a reminder of the horror show her life used to be. It's easier to gloss over how there's nothing easy about living in her future.

She listens quietly to the rest. As the ancestor here, Zari supposes it's her job to guide her other self to a better relationship with the family. Time to take a stab in the dark. "You two seem cool now. Maybe you just need to see them away from your job." She suggests mildly.

"Maybe." She takes a breath, resting her chin on her knees. "I am trying to make an effort. And honestly, I think being a superhero on the side has been kind of good for me. Maybe not for my brand, but good for me."

Then she pauses as she runs a hand through her hair. "But this was B's thing first. And sometimes I'm not really sure if he wants me tagging along."

She listens as Zari talks through all of this. That is until she reaches the part about Behrad. Flannel Zari can't help snorting at that. This is something she definitely has perspective on. "He's our little brother. He wants you to tag along." She fidgets with her hands while trying to think of the right way to explain.

"Look, I don't know what things were like for you two growing up. My Behrad always wanted me there to tell stories or help him with his plans to stop ARGUS. I don't think this Behrad is any different. He just never..." She pauses here. Things are so much better now sometimes it feels dangerous to mention the times they weren't. She's an ancestor now so that means guiding the current totem bearers as best she can. "He doesn't have to worry anyone will take you away." She explains or rather forces out of her mouth. "He can afford to be subtle."

Subtlety is overrated, in Zari's opinion, but she can get where Flannel Zari is coming from.

"We just haven't always been on the best of terms. He never really liked my career." Not that she had much of a choice in either. Dragon Girl never got to be just another person in the world again, and at some point Behrad didn't like the person she had to become to survive. "But I haven't always been a peach to deal with either."

OR

Sara has accused her before of using other people as test subjects in her quest to hack time to save her family. She knows that accusation isn't going to get any better with this latest one. The brief mention of losing a sister has Zari digging deep into the Lance family timeline. It doesn't take long to discover the Laurel that returned was not the one that died. The answer becomes obvious once she discovers the whole Black Siren deal. Why couldn't the real Laurel Lance return? It'd be so easy to kidnap Laurel to play out the lie Earth-2 Laurel told. She even thinks of how to plant the seed of doubt that she ever truly died to make her return more plausible.

She knows Sara will never go for it. She's accepted Laurel's death. Here's the thing: Zari thinks she doesn't have to. She'll prove it to her before the captain can do anything to stop her. It helps she has access to a criminal who cares about Sara enough to rescue her sister even if he hates her profession and a wizard with a bleeding heart who has his own agenda for seeing if Zari can tweak the timeline to her benefit.

Between the three of them, it's actually ridiculously easy to kidnap Laurel and stage a good death scene that is just off enough to raise questions down the line. Mick knows how to evade authorities, lockdown a hospital wing while successfully framing other (HIVE) criminals for doing it with John using magic and Zari using hacking to help fill in the gaps. All that's left really is to get Sara out of the way long enough to sneak onto the Waverider to treat only the injuries that will kill Laurel and back to an old safehouse from Mick's dead ex-partner to let Laurel heal from the rest. After all, the scar that arrow will leave behind won't be easy to contest down the line.

That leaves Zari to wait until Laurel wakes up from whatever hocus pocus John did to keep her knocked out while they staged a dramatic attack and death scene with no body left behind. She'll find a Perisan woman eating a pudding cup in a makeshift hospital room that is definitely full of stolen equipment when she does wake up.

"So you probably have some questions." Here she is answering none of them. The truth is she can meticulously plan how to fake a murder, kidnap the Black Canary under the nose of a superhero team, hack the timeline to save her life, and get two dummies to go along with her insane plan. The trouble is how the person involved in her scheme is going to react to all of this. She can't account for Laurel anymore than she could Stein. At least the arrow to the gut will buy her sometime to think of a way to sell this plan to the elder Lance.

As much as Laurel had made of show of seeming at peace with things, she didn't actually want to die. She doesn't have a death wish. However, from the moment Damian Darhke shoved that arrow in her stomach, it was as though she knew. She knew that that was the end, and she needed to make her peace with things, for better or worse.

What she doesn't expect is waking up somewhere that is not Star City General, feeling ... fine. Better than fine even. She's feeling good, and when she looks up at the unfamiliar woman in front of her, she only manages to come up with one thing.

"You're not my nurse."

Zari stares at her. It's tempting to take the easy way out and deflect with jokes. John and Mick aren't going to be taking care of Laurel. Clearly she's going to be playing nursemaid now. Poor Laurel>. But, Sara talks about her like she's a saint. John didn't even hesitate to sign onto this which says it all about his opinion of Laurel Lance. The joke dies in her throat. All she has left soft sincerity.

"No... no I'm not." She looks down at her pudding cup as if it will hold the answers. No secrets of the universe are there. She's left trying to ask for what feels like the impossible. "Would you believe me if I told you I was the person trying to save your life?" There's a note of hope in her voice. Zari wants Laurel to be okay with the way she is tampering with fate. A part of the hacker does feel some remorse for knowing Laurel is also a means to save Behrad to her.

"I would understand the need but not the why."

Because as much as she's trying to wrack her brain, she doesn't know this woman. She's never met her, as far as she's aware. She's not sure why this woman would want to save her life, and as much as she does want to live, she doesn't want to become trapped on the wrong end of a bad deal.

She doesn't want this to be a Lazarus pit situation. She's already made that mistake once.

"Not that I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth, exactly, but I'm a little worried about the catch."

She is handling this pretty well. Zari relaxes just a fraction. May as well give the harsh truth up front. "The catch is if I pull off saving you, I am one step closer to saving my brother." Laurel is a means to an end. "I might not pull it off." Also a problem. She thinks she caught every angle, but unfortunately she's been wrong before.

"The reason why it's you? Your sister saved me. I figure I owe her one." The fact she's on her team of losers has nothing to do with this. Or that she cares about Sara's happiness. Totally just paying her back.

"Sara?"

That gets her more immediate attention while she processes the rest, including the might not succeed in saving her part. That is a complication she can worry about later.

"Is she here? Is she okay?"

"Not here, but definitely okay last I checked. It's the Legends so." She waves her hand noncommittedly. If Laurel doesn't know by now they almost die all the time, she's not going to be the one to break it to her. Zari focuses on finishing her pudding before delivering the rest of the story.

"She doesn't know I did this and until I see if this works out? I'm not telling her." Zari lets the silence linger as she lets Laurel decide whether or not she's okay with that.

She knows enough about the Legends to understand that gesture, so she'll just nod and take Zari at her word. But again, the Legends were in Season One when Laurel died, so:

"Are you one of the Time Masters?"

Because she can't put a name to her face just yet, and she knows most of the Legends, at least by reputation if not an outright relationship.

Zari full out laughs at the question. That sounds like an actual organization. The idea of her working for something like that is pretty laughable. "Yeah I have no idea what that is. I'm not a time cop if that's what you're asking." She pauses a for a minute as she works out a better way to explain her deal. "I'm someone they picked up along the way. After your time." She tacks on in hopes it clears some stuff up.

"Oh."

Right. After her time. She isn't sure what to make of any of that, but good to know that Sara is doing her own thing now. It's going to take time for her to wrap her head around it, but she can roll with it.

"So Rip Hunter isn't still running the Wave Rider."

She scoffs. Understandably, she doesn't have the highest opinion of Rip. It's hard to believe he used to run with the Legends given the Time Bureau situation. "He definitely isn't." She sobers a moment later as she points out who is. "Your sister is running the show."

Laurel brightens at that, surprised at first before settling back into a pleased smile. As much as she would probably miss her sister with committing to the Legends full time, it's good to see that she found her place in the world. With people who love and support her.

And then a moment later she remembers that she won't be there to see it, one way or another. She needs to focus on something else, not her impending death and the people she's leaving behind.

"So, what now?"

"Now we let this new history set." Zari points out with a shrug. This will be the tricky part; seeing if the change will take the way she needs it to. They need some wiggle room for Laurel to miraculously come back that doesn't require everyone to be an idiot. "And see if you're willing to play your part." Zari steels herself. Laurel could say no which puts her in a tough spot. She doesn't think she'd force someone to live regardless of the cost. She knows for Behrad nothing is off the table.

"A couple years from now a Laurel from another Earth is going to sell a story that you were held prisoner by Damien Darkh for years so she can take over your life. If I did things right, we made enough evidence to not only support her claim, but have you take her place in the timeline without dying five minutes later." All Laurel needs to do is lie to make it work.

"So for me it won't be long." Because she assumes time travel will be involved. "But for everyone else it would be a couple of years?"

She would rather her loved ones not feel any pain at all, but she knows that they don't always get that choice. She's willing to lie. She'll sell whatever story Zari wants her to.

"Why does this other Laurel want to be me?"

Zari nods. That's more or less the plan. Laurel doesn't seem to be rejecting it outright so maybe they can make this work. "From what I was able to piece together, she was sent by a speedster named Zoom to terrorize Central City. I guess he had big plans to conquer the multiverse and she was a part of them. Long story short? Team Flash managed to take her down. One of Oliver Queens many, many enemies decided to use her to torture him. She wasn't exactly a willing party in that according to her. At some point, she sold the lie herself to keep her enemies off her back later on."

Zari scowls. That's where things get less historical fact and what she put together from the records Team Flash did keep on the Earth 2 metas. Too many grays for her liking. "It's a lot of interpersonal drama so it is important we slip you in before she makes her move against Team Arrow. Chances are what we do know isn't completely accurate if we go later in the timeline."

The idea that another her would be a villain rather than a hero is a foreign one, but not completely out of the question. She knows how close she's tread to certain lines. Compromises she made because she felt she had to. And she also knows the anger that she had when Sara died the second time could have easily gone another way.

"None of them tried to help her?"

She probably shouldn't be surprised. Oliver doesn't like to deviate from his plans if he can help it. But she shakes her head, because that's not a question Zari should have to answer.

"Sorry. I guess I should be ready to prove I'm me."

zari tomaz | dctv

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i haven't tagged you back yet, but i also want this

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