greatexpectations | zari tomaz

It actually raises her hopes to hear that he was a mess. Maybe... okay that probably makes her a bad person, Zari thinks. She wants desperately to be valued by Nate. She knows the rest is an impossible wish. Zari wouldn't take back her sacrifice for anything. She knows she is fortunate to have this much: a relationship with Behrad and her other self; getting to see her friends again. She could have slipped away into the ether the way her Behrad seems to have. She would have accepted that fate to atone for her perceived failures.

What she can't abide by is hearing anyone much less this version of her parents not value her other self. She stops eating long enough to do a double-take. That has to be the most insane thing she's ever heard. She found out in a happier life she'd be an influencer that John Constantine is totally fixated on.

"Hang on... they get pretty-princess-slash-genius Zari and they're still not happy?" She snorts at how ridiculous that is. Not that her parents approved of how Behrad and Zari fought back against their oppressors, but she would never say her parents weren't their biggest fans or even think it. Zari knows she gave Maman especially a hard time about preserving their faith and culture and still wouldn't go there. It's disappointing as it is expected. People take their loved ones for granted when they're not at risk of getting shot dead or stolen away to be tortured on daily basis.

She reaches out to pat her other self's arm. "Well I'm happy. I think it's cool the way you make all that stuff and help people feel good about themselves." She may not get Z's whole deal, but she admires it.

Her chin lifts at that, clearly pleased that other Zari appreciates her, even if her parents don't. She's not even sure if it's that they take her for granted so much as seeing what she does as frivolous. Vapid. Numerous other words that coincide with how fake her world used to be.

"Thank you."

Then she shrugs as she relaxes, because if they're appreciating each other, than she's got some pieces of her own to share.

"Though I'm sure your life is much less exhausting. You don't have to think about how every little thing you do will be perceived. When you have hundreds of thousands of eyes on you all the time ... I think sometimes you forget how to be yourself. Your life becomes your image and I think Maman and Baba never really liked the person that I was when I was 'working.'" A beat. "Then again, B never really did either."

Even the sound of Fancy Zari's life makes her want to break out in hives. She doesn't bother hiding her disgust the thought of thousands gawking at her. "It's less exhausting these days." She admits dryly. No one wants a reminder of the horror show her life used to be. It's easier to gloss over how there's nothing easy about living in her future.

She listens quietly to the rest. As the ancestor here, Zari supposes it's her job to guide her other self to a better relationship with the family. Time to take a stab in the dark. "You two seem cool now. Maybe you just need to see them away from your job." She suggests mildly.

"Maybe." She takes a breath, resting her chin on her knees. "I am trying to make an effort. And honestly, I think being a superhero on the side has been kind of good for me. Maybe not for my brand, but good for me."

Then she pauses as she runs a hand through her hair. "But this was B's thing first. And sometimes I'm not really sure if he wants me tagging along."

She listens as Zari talks through all of this. That is until she reaches the part about Behrad. Flannel Zari can't help snorting at that. This is something she definitely has perspective on. "He's our little brother. He wants you to tag along." She fidgets with her hands while trying to think of the right way to explain.

"Look, I don't know what things were like for you two growing up. My Behrad always wanted me there to tell stories or help him with his plans to stop ARGUS. I don't think this Behrad is any different. He just never..." She pauses here. Things are so much better now sometimes it feels dangerous to mention the times they weren't. She's an ancestor now so that means guiding the current totem bearers as best she can. "He doesn't have to worry anyone will take you away." She explains or rather forces out of her mouth. "He can afford to be subtle."

Subtlety is overrated, in Zari's opinion, but she can get where Flannel Zari is coming from.

"We just haven't always been on the best of terms. He never really liked my career." Not that she had much of a choice in either. Dragon Girl never got to be just another person in the world again, and at some point Behrad didn't like the person she had to become to survive. "But I haven't always been a peach to deal with either."

zari tomaz | dctv

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