greatexpectations | zari tarazi

John freezes at the grab, just barely keeping himself from wresting his arm from her grip. Sometimes, he acts like a cornered animal and he doesn't know how to stop. He's grateful he managed to this time.

"It doesn't mean anything," he argues defensively, eyes draw to her mouth despite the totally unsexy moment they're having. "Forget it. I'm crap at tarot."

She lets it go once the muscles tense in her grasp. As intense as they are, Zari still has a lot to learn about John. For all her big self-talk, she is humble enough to accept the new information as it comes. Even she's not arrogant enough to think she knows John completely.

"I think you were doing just fine. You just don't like what it says." She points out frankly. Zari soon flops backward onto his bed to effectively pout/think over the situation. She's gonna take that as they were totally reading him. It doesn't seem so bad to her so she doesn't know what all this drama is about.

"Whatever." She reaches up to grab her phone to mindlessly scroll for a bit. Once again it reminds her why she never brings it in, she doesn't like the way it gives her an out because like a coward she absolutely takes it.

His gaze softens up once she lets him go, eyes darting to the portrait as he remembers what he had been avoiding to begin with. He really is such a dolt. John immediately misses her the moment she's in the icloud, but he tries not to let it get to him. If she had wanted to, she would have left so if she vacates mentally for a few moments it's not like he doesn't do the same in other ways.

John sits back against the headboard, glancing over at her before refocusing on his task. He may as well finish what he started, right? The moment he opens the drawstring, the cards he had already laid out fire onto the bedspread like they're pissed at him, too. He has to snort at the dramatics of their combined magical signature before folding a leg under himself to make some room on the bed without disturbing Zari.

He lays out the cards in the same arrangement as before and goes to draw another, finding himself curious to see what this might actually reveal to him. He sets four more out before he can overthink it until the arrangement looks like this. The cards go from bottom to top: reversed Magician (obviously him, annoying), the Empress right-side-up (obviously Zari, which is even more annoying) followed by upside-down Six of Pentacles and upright Six of Swords. He's always hated self-reflection, if his reaction to her was any clue, but he forces himself to meditate on the reading and accept his findings. There are worse things than knowing your own shortfalls, and he has too many to get to in one reading.

Catchat can only hold her interest for so long these days. Zari ends up clicking away at basic empire maintenance usually saved for Nate's portions of the team meetings and scrolling through the comments of recent videos to offer a cat-heart eye emoji to a few select fans. It's a only little more satisfying than mindless scrolling.

Ava soon cheers her up with a quick update on her hi-jink-free date with Sara along with a selfie. They look so happy that Zari feels a twinge of guilt. She really did spook John for a hot second just for ruining her fun. Time to woman up. She moves to sit up, phone returning to the pillow. Zari scoots over so she can lean into his space and press a soft kiss against his cheek. "Sorry for manhandling you in a non-sexy way."

She rests her hand on his shoulder both to be cute and needy at the same time. Accept her apology!! Look at how sweet she can be!! "Are we still playing?"

His eyes which had been closed slowly blink open at the kiss, leaning into the contact automatically. The apology is the last thing he expects, and it's still pretty much a new concept to him that anyone actually respects his weird bullshit - or even notices it. John's nose wrinkles, but he doesn't say anything back at first; instead reaching out to set his hand on her thigh, equally as needy.

"It's not really a game, luv, but magic doesn't like it when you pack up for the day so yeah. Thought I'd carry it through." He worries his lip between his teeth as he looks over the cards and considers how to summarize them for her, knowing he should be more honest and less flowery with his language now that she figured him out. He's never been great at apologies himself, but she deserves to at least know he feels bad too. "I didn't mean to... You were right, about the reading." In part, anyway.

After a moment, he shifts enough so he can lean his head back against hers, both enjoying the contact and needing what tiny bit of cover he can accomplish by being too close for her to see his expression.

"I think the cards picked up on..." He swallows again, not wanting this to turn into some grand confession though on some level it has to be, right? He's never said anything like this aloud to her even if he thinks it all the time. "How I need you. Even depend on you." It's something he doesn't allow himself to do pretty much ever anymore, even with Desmond he tried to keep that part of himself locked away. But she brainstorms soup recipes for him just in case he gets sick, he can admit to being a little codependent.

He doesn't pull away so Zari takes it as acceptance. She doesn't feel fully confident in that until he grips her thigh. She finally breathes, enjoying the way they don't have to talk about it as long as they're close. Sometimes she thinks the only time the world makes sense is when they're touching each other. She accepts his version of an apology with a soft kiss against his shoulder.

It shouldn't actually be a surprise where he goes with this given where her thoughts are. Zari is a little surprised. "Oh. So this is about us." Bad answer. She frowns at her stupidity. Don't shut down when your boyfriend is opening up. Don't shut down!!! Zari swallows before making an attempt. She wishes she had a script for this.

"Not to freak you out... I need you too. You're the only one who puts me first." When it counts, she means. Zari doesn't hold John making Astra's mother a priority in the resurrection line any more than he seemed to be upset that she advocated for Behrad. It'd be especially petty now after the way it all ended.

"I love my brother and our friends, but if things ever got bad? Really, really bad? You'd be the one I go to first." Which is a longer way of say it's mutual. She thinks he knows that by now.

His fingers tighten around her leg as she works through it, forcing himself not to judge her fist reaction. Zari may be even worse than he is at expressing emotion honestly so he knows to wait, and what comes next has him holding his breath. John lets her get all the way to the end before interjecting, and even a little after that. His grip releases and he slips his arm around her shoulder instead, drawing her in against him.

"You know that does freak me out," he eventually manages, turning to press the softest kiss ever to her temple. While it's terrifying, he knows this is a two-way street, and that's much different from anything he's ever had before; or allowed himself to have. If he had to make the same decision today, he would probably choose Behrad, and that's something that follows him, too. Unknowingly, he thinks of it at the same time she is, glancing back down at the cards. "Wanna hear the rest?"

John takes a stabilizing breath and points to each card as he goes, squeezing her tighter against his side.

"The Magician is, quite rudely, pointing out my untapped potential." AKA how he always holds himself back in relationships. "While the Empress is there to signify growth... in a nurturing sense. Which couldn't have anything to do with your influence," he teases, his face heating up at the realization that even Tarot is calling him out for being self-destructive. In his version of the cards, she even looks a little like Zari. "The Six of Pentacles warns of codependency and to take care giving is mutual... If done responsibly, the sharing will be rewarding however. Which brings us to the Six of Swords. The release of emotional baggage and pursuing a new path in life. We must take heed not to leave behind anything important as we move into the next phase."

Everything in Zari's old world taught her well to never open up. There are always terrible consequences for being too much. Don't love anyone or anything too loud. There's something wrong with it, with you, and it's never enough. She'll never fully let go of that programming instilled in her, but when his lips are against her temple she can at least breathe. They're scared, but they can be together. That's more than anyone else has ever given her.

She nods at the question, enjoying their combined warmth as they sit so close that once again Zari wonders where he ends and she begins. Zari won't be bother being surprised when the cards call them out for their codependency later. Zari does raise a brow at the resemblance and wonders if that is a weird coincidence or fate. God she hopes it's not fate which has forever been ruined for her as a word.

The read that follows doesn't surprise her either. She has both subtly and not been combating his more self-destructive tendencies for a while now. She's not stopping anytime soon. Of course John holds back when all his exes are dead. No, it's the last one that intrigues her. Zari can't clearly see herself in it. She's been on her new path for a while now, but the rest is hard to wrap her brain around. "So what? No leaving Behrad behind at the grocery store?" He's the only other important thing in her life. Her empire is mostly self-sustaining even if she has to pop over here and there.

He snorts at her suggestion, throwing a leg over one of hers to make himself comfortable.

"I think it's more about being mindful not to lose oneself... in each other." They each have a tendency to do that, after all, but John sounds fond rather than worried.

Zari laughs. His dramatic timing is about as good as hers. "I like how you bring that up after you drape yourself over me." She says like she didn't start this to begin with. "Mixed message much?"

It's only then Zari actually stops hyper-focusing on John long enough to look around the room. "Huh. That's new." No commentary yet as she picks his new portrait apart. Give her two seconds to pick out that's Behrad's work. He usually doesn't do photo realism.

He rolls his eyes even while slumping his head to rest on her shoulder.

"You know what I meant." Probably. John's completely forgotten about the portrait himself and squints up at her in confusion before awkwardly trying to follow her gaze. Oh, right, the whole reason for his weird insecurity spiral. "...Yeah. Haven't decided where to hang it yet."

"Do I?" Zari teases as it finally hits her. That's all Behrad. She can see his tiny initials in the bottom right corner. It's actually ridiculously sweet that he did that. Neither of them have ever meddled in each other's love lives before but, she had hoped that he approved somewhat. She guesses this is the answer to that question.

Zari hums thoughtfully and slips into her best self-help influencer voice. "Well you probably want it somewhere you can gaze at it longingly whenever your crush is away since FaceTime hasn't been invented yet. Tragic." Before he can get too annoyed with her, she points at a spot not blocked by his junk that's in full view of what she thinks is his favorite spot. "Like there."

John nips at her earlobe for that incredibly lame "tutorial." Nevermind that his annoyance is all an act because he actually finds it charming in a really dumb way. She picked the perfect spot anyway, while he's doing his research he can look up at it and the thought makes him smile even as he turns towards her a bit more and wraps his other arm around her abdomen, effectively wrapped around her like an octopus now.

"A bit more than a crush," he has to point out, especially since he's someone who crushes fairly easily. What they have is entire levels above a passing fancy. "You don't think it's weird?" The picture, or that Behrad is the artist, either way.

She smiles when he does, ignoring the tingling in her belly. Zari knows she earned that one even if it is all an act. "Fineee..." Zari whines at him. She changes her voice to sound like something out of a cheesy romance movie from the 50s. "Your epic lover who you transcended space and time to be with, defied fate for-" She's back to influencer voice. "-and ignored a bunch of cards calling you out for being clingy."

She chuckles at her own joke, rests her hands over the arm wrapped around her waist, and gets a tad more serious. "Babe, this might be the most normal thing you've ever done. You know most couples have each other's pictures with them all the time, right? Ava has Sara as her lockscreen. Sure, getting my brother to do it is a little weird, but it's John kind of weird. We like John's level of weird." As a group minus Mick who would drop him down a well if allowed to. John already knows how that goes.

"Yeah, that," he agrees flatly, face buried in her throat. She'll be able to feel his lips curve into a feline smile when her hand traps him in like she doesn't want him getting the idea to pull away despite her "complaint."

As she explains what's normal to him not for the first time, he realizes he always keeps his relationships close to the vest, for obvious reasons. With her, he doesn't think he could pretend even if he tried so there's really no point.

"He offered," John defends his choice, besides the only other artist he knows would be a definite weirdo-vibe to commission and not in a good way. "Nice to know I'm on my own level."

Edited 2020-08-24 23:19 (UTC)

Feeling him smile against her skin should not be so attractive. She's happy at least he isn't calling her bluff. Zari knows she's only slightly less clingy than John is. She's determined not to get outed for it!! She snorts at the defense and quickly dismisses it. That's actually a very heartwarming turn of events even if it came from a defensive place.

"He did?" Zari doesn't bother to hide that touches her. Behrad has never meddled in her love affairs. The closest he came was putting out a strong vibe he didn't like boyfriend-who-will-not-be-named without ever uttering a word for or against them. This is a pleasant turn of events. "Are you two bros now?"

John hears the warmth in her voice and wonders what it means. The sibling thing bewilders him as much as he tries to understand it. Bros though gets him to peak his face out at her and look offended (and tired, he still looks so tired even if his dark circles aren't as dark anymore.)

"If I say 'yes,' are you gonna break up with me?" he deflects, before shaking his head and putting it back down on the pillow. "He's alright." Behrad. That's a yes.

Zari rolls her eyes on cue. "Obviously. I can't let you enjoy someone else's company especially if it's my precious baby brother." She complains like that's the silliest thing she's ever heard. His answer earns a pleased chuckle. "Awww. You are bros." She snickers and notes playfully. "You're going to give Nate a complex."

He really has zero grounds to dispute her so he just sighs and squeezes her a little tighter for a second. "No I'm not because he never has to know." He's not exactly accustomed to having things other people want, let alone relationships. It's totally feasible to just pretend to spare Nate's feelings, right???

Zari narrows her eyes. She can't tell if he's protecting Nate's sensitive self or avoiding the drama. It barely matters so Zari just snuggles against him contently. "It's cool. It took them how long to figure out we were dating? Didn't we literally have a date in front of them once?" She laughs. People call her self-absorbed, but she's got nothing on these guys.

"Twice, I think," John agrees, shrugging his free shoulder. They really are clueless at all times. It's something he appreciates about the Legends as much as it can be frustrating at inopportune times. As much as he tries to stay out of the drama, now he has to admit he's curious; but for once he tries to be as tactful as possible, knowing how touchy the subject is for Zari and for good reason. "How are you doing with the librarian?" And then because he always has to lighten the mood somehow: "Are you two bros yet?"

It is a touchy subject subject. Zari sighs dramatically until his follow up. She makes a face at how he says the word. "We really need to stop teaching you slang." She smiles, letting out a breath of laughter before getting back to the subject. Zari still isn't happy, but that did help. "I can still see Taylor Swift play in his brain whenever we're around each other and he's so awkward it actually makes that guy with the glasses look put together."

She takes a deep breath and exhales audibly. "I'm trying for Behrad. He loves that nerd and I don't want to ruin that for him. It's not like he's all bad. The five seconds he talks to me like a real person I think we could be friends. He's dumb puppy. I love those." Zari waves her hand dramatically and sighs. "It's just hard, you know? I want to kick his ass for that stunt with Other Zari. Yeah, I let strangers project all their fantasies onto me, but it's different when that person is my brother's best friend and he's literally picturing you as another version of yourself." She flops her head against John. "Say something supportive and dumb to cheer me up."

John snorts, thinking again of Zed without meaning to. Laying in her hospital bed thinking she wouldn't survive... He empathizes with Nate though he tries not to, but this whole situation is super messy even by his metric. He opens his mouth to say something probably meaner than the other man deserves, and then promptly shuts it again without getting the words out. He isn't angry or jealous, necessarily, but he does hate that he made Zari feel this way no matter how much he's sure he's been guilty of the same in the past.

"Now I'm the puppy, is that it? I'm supposed to come up with these things on command." It's soft, empathy leaking into his voice as a hand smooths over the back of her head, racking his brain for something that might make her feel better about this whole dumb thing. He decides to go down the highly unserious route since everyone knows he could never bring himself to lay a finger on these idiots, especially since Gary is somehow unscathed after all the damage he's done. "Say the word, luv. I'll kick his arse."

"It's your fault for being so cute and trainable." Zari points out sweetly. She soaks in the comfort he offers. This isn't a problem he can solve for her. This is something that will take time and patience. Zari can't smash her way through this. Behrad is sweet and lovable, but she knows people don't always see him for who he is. It can be tough to form a lasting bond with someone you write off as a stoner or man-child. How can she curb stomp his friend even if he is being a creepy?

John's suggestion makes her laugh outright. "Yeah, right. You're a total softie with these dummies." She says it affectionately. She wouldn't want John to feel compelled to protect her either. Zari doesn't need people taking sides when the whole appeal of the Legends is that they are united. Clearly the only solution is for her to just endlessly put up with it. It's deeply unfair, but she doesn't see any other options. "I'll deal. He has to let it go eventually. Other Zari isn't going to use me to make out with him again knowing it can kill Behrad so it's not like it'll hurt me to let him work through it."

She's resigned to the situation. At least her bodily integrity should be safe from those two getting caught up in the moment again. Hurt feelings aside, that's what really bugs her about the whole thing. Zari grew up in a space and field where protecting that has been a struggle since childhood as absolutely gross as that is to acknowledge. She doesn't need those horny idiots casually stealing away the personal autonomy she fought so hard to protect.

He laughs with her, knowing as well as she does that it would never happen. Not like he even knows how to beat up a steel man anyway. "Alright, alright, but that never leaves this room." His weakness for the Legends, despite how obvious it is to anyone with eyeballs in their head. John's mirth slowly dies down as he picks up on Zari's distress, understanding all too intimately why it is she's upset. "He will, luv, just give it some time. In the mean while, we could always set him up with someone new..."

John thinks it over, wondering if there's anyone they know already that's single and wouldn't mind how ridiculously energetic Nate is.

"He's always talking about Dionysus, not that I usually advocate for courting deity..." Still, they seemed to have a special connection!!

zari tarazi | dctv

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